i've heard it all before ;; OPEN

[Niki Hanley]

outfit

It was the start of week 2 at Michigan State Institution for Nicole Flynn Hanley. So far, nothing horrendous had happened, she thought to herself as she walked outside, towards the basketball courts. She hadn't been any happier, though, that was for sure. But, at least no one had forced pills down her throat or put her in a strait jacket. She only hoped that this wasn't that kind of an asylum. Still, the word "asylum" just had a bad connotation. She wasn't crazy; anyone back home could tell you that. Niki was not crazy, insane, out of the loop, loosing her marbles, or any other way of putting it. She just had some issues, but what teenage girl didn't? Sure, she'd been cutting herself for quite some time now, and yeah, her parents had come home one day to find her unconscious by her bed, with an empty bottle of pills, but she had just been going through a rough time. She didn't need to be sent off to some mad house, but that was what had happened.

The blonde girl sighed, watching her beaded sandals as she walked towards the empty basketball courts. Maybe a hoodie wasn't such a good idea today, especially if she was going to be around asphalt. Actually, her whole outfit was pretty impractical considering the weather. Jeans, a hoodie, and a wool hat. Wool. Ah well, she'd probably wind up taking the hoodie off and rolling her jeans up anyway, as she often did. She'd remembered to shave her legs this morning in the shower so it didn't really matter. Blah, the showers. The one thing she dreaded most about this place. Contrary to what a lot of people believed, Niki did wash her hair. You were actually supposed to wash dread locks, but most people just assumed that hippies were dirty and didn't bathe at all, or as often as they should. Niki was actually a bit of perfectionist when it came to keeping clean, but that was also the OCD kicking in. The dreadlocks just made it easier to get ready in the morning. It involved little to no styling. All she had to do was brush her bangs, and on a humid day, straighten them a little bit.

Sighing, Niki finally reached the gate to the basketball courts. She glanced behind her, still seeing emptiness. The gate was open, though, but if it wasn't, she had been perfectly prepared to hop the fence. That was something that she had a lot of experience with. As soon as she got into the courts, the first thing she did was take off her bright yellow hoodie, and toss it so it hung over the fence. As she thought she would, she also rolled her torn-up jeans up to her mid-calves. The hat would have to go, she admitted to herself sadly. She gently took off her beanie, curled it up into a ball, and put it in the pocket of her hoodie. She was protective of that hat; she didn't want to risk anyone seeing it and liking it as much as she did. A lot of kids around here probably didn't have any remorse for stealing something like that.

The blonde girl stood and starred at the hoop for a bit. The basket loomed over the short girl, and she starred up at it, her blue eyes wide and spaced out. Figures, that she'd come all the way out here and there wouldn't be a basketball to play with.

[/font][/blockquote]

[Holly Kennedy]

come to bed. don't make me sleep alone
COULDN'T HIDE THE EMPTINESS

[/color][/font]
you let it show. never wanted it to be so cold.
just didn't drink enough to tell me you loved me[/center]

The day was bright, sunny and warm and Holly knew she had to get outside sooner or later. She didn't really want to go outside, she would usually much rather stay indoors where the bright sunlight didn't sting her constantly bleary eyes. Ten months here at Michigan and she still isn't any better than when she first came in but maybe that's because she claims that there's nothing wrong with her and any help that the staff tried to give her was thrown away because she doesn't need any help if she's not sick. She knew she would give in some day and accept the help she knows she needs for her addictions but she couldn't tell you when that would be, she could be in for another year before she breaks. She's used to staying here now, it's like her new home so she knows she doesn't mind staying longer and with her mum working as a nurse around the place she's always there for her to talk to when she feels like it, so really it's just like another home... with limited freedom.

Lying on the bed in her cell room she was beginning to get bored and the book was pretty boring too and she threw it down under her bed where a lot of her other belongings resided. She had to get out and she knew it but she could never bring herself to do it. It's too much work and she always seems to feel lifeless unless she's preoccupied with something else. When Holly's mind is on something then all other things seem to not exist in her delusional world. Jumping down from her bed and finding her black converse shoes half way across the room she put them on and threw on her special purple hoodie that she never goes anywhere without. She only wears hoodies and shirts with long sleeves to cover up the track marks, cuts and scratches on her arms so that people don't ask questions. She hates that she has done all this to herself and wants to go back to normal but until she accepts help and stops being so stubborn she will stay here.

Walking down the white hospital like corridor she placed her hands in the pockets of her black skinny jeans, staring off into space as she walked. Making it to the backdoor she looked up at the guard who didn't seem very interested in being here, Holly didn't blame him. Although, she didn't stay there for long, she hates the guards and can be scared of them at times considering what they've done to her on several occasions, causing her bruises and then them claiming that she got them for wrist banging, who did they think they were? She wasn't really caring where she was walking to, she would just go for a small walk to get some fresh air and then go back inside, it was simple. walking further from the back door she looked up after a few minutes and found herself by the basketball court, she had never really played anything here. Holly and sports do not go together very well without her hurting herself or others, she tends to be very clumsy sometimes. Spotting a girl just standing there, Holly wondered if something was up, why would she just be standing in the middle of the basketball court, it didn't make sense to even a whacked out Holly and being the nosey young woman she is she casually walked over to the girl and smiled a little. "Hey" she said as happily as she could. "You alright, something up? and besides that hoop's not going to drop a ball if you just stare at it" Holly was always trying to be the funny one, try to be sarcastic but sometimes it didn't work for her and she often left people confused.

TAGS: niki
WORD COUNT: 654
STATUS: done
CREDIT: caution 2.0
LYRICS: lithium - evanescence
LISTENING TO: bury me alive, we are the fallen[/color]

[Niki Hanley]

Niki continued to stand there and stare straight up, at the basketball hoop above her head. Oddly enough, it brought back memories. Memories of the early years, when the children in school would run around outside for recess after lunch. The boys went to the basketball courts or baseball fields, and the girls sat under a tree and played with their dolls. Niki never had dolls. They always scared her as a little girl. Niki had action figures, and whenever she'd try to play with the other girls, they always got mad at her for trying to pull GI Joe into the plot line. So, little Niki Hanley sat under her own tree, with her action figures, watching sadly as the other little boys and girls had fun with their friends. Niki was left by herself.

The blonde girl looked down at the pavement for a moment, watching the shadow of herself. Much taller and slimmer than she was in real life, no doubt. She twisted and turned her body, keeping her eyes on the shadow, then looked back up at the basketball hoop. There was a short one on her old playground in elementary school. One day, after recess, she had noticed a teenage girl walking over to it, and tying a red rose to the pole. She stood there, crying for a while, and then walked away. Niki later found out that the girl's boyfriend had hung himself on that very basketball hoop a year before. Back then, Niki didn't understand. She didn't understand why someone would do that to themselves. Now, she understood. She understood the depression, and hating life, even if it could be so much worse. She understood just wanting to give up, and not do it anymore. She understood wanting to die, and that feeling that it was the right thing to do. The happiest she'd ever felt was when she was lying on the ground, empty pill bottle at her side, slowly her vision fading to black. She remembered the feeling of guilt and selfishness when she awoke in the hospital.

Niki blinked, looking back down at the pavement, rocking back and forth in her beaded sandals. How had she gotten this far? What had happened to her that had turned her from this happy, cheery little kid to this depressed, self-conscious teenage girl that she now was? Niki jumped, hearing another voice near her. A girl's voice, that she didn't recognize. Niki turned her head, squinting her eyes through the sunlight as she pulled her dreadlocks up into a ponytail. The other blonde girl walked over, looking kind of happy. Maybe it was forced; who knew. Niki had never met this girl before, but she thought she looked familiar. Niki did her best to give the girl a shaky smile in return. She nodded. Niki was alright. Even if she wasn't, she could pretend. She didn't want to seem like a complete psycho around someone she'd never met before. She chuckled a bit at the girls' comment about the hoop.

"Jedi mind trick" Niki said, smiling a bit. She could have a goofy sense of humour occasionally. She hoped that the other girl would get the reference. Surprisingly enough, she knew people that had never seen a single star wars movie. Niki found that to be just plain shocking. "I'm Niki," she introduced herself. "With one 'k'," she added. She hated when people spelled her name "Nikki" or "Nicky".